connecting

Pasadena Vroman’s Event – Coming Home

I am proud to have been born and raised in Pasadena, California, USA. I was born in February of 1948, went to school at St. Elizabeth in neighboring Altadena, John Marshall Junior High, and of course Pasadena High School. Go Bulldogs!! I ended up leaving in 1966 to attend University of San Diego, and then to UCLA, where I eventually obtained two degrees, a BA in Psychology and a PhD. in Education. But my point here is that I’m thrilled to be coming back to my old home town on next Tuesday, July 6 for a book signing at Vroman’s book store, which has been there as an outstanding independent book store to sign and discuss my latest book Connecting: Beyond the Name Tag about personal and business networking. It has very special meaning to me that the event will be in Pasadena, and at Vroman’s I did a signing there in 1995 for my last book on sales entitled Sell Yourself. My late parents and sister Barbara were at that signing. It is fifteen years later and many experiences later. I hope to draw a diverse group of people who can meet each other. Everyone is welcome, and it is a free event. Believe Publishing is providing wine and Middle Eastern appetizers. A big part of the fun for me is not knowing who or how many people will show up. I hope whoever is reading this feels welcome and motivated to show up, because showing up is really the essence of my message. It is 4th of July weekend, and it really shouldn’t end on Monday, but extend through the event at Vroman’s. See you there.

The Art of Connecting: Exploring Different Dimensions in Networking

Last night I did a presentation at the PYO Gallery in the South Park area of  Downtown LA on “The Art of Connecting.”  I employed concepts from the art world like perspective, shading (shades of meaning), setting, style, and taste to networking.  It was the first time I have given such a presentation, and it was very well received.  I discussed the importance of building a strong personal relationship prior to trying to build a business relationship.  The gallery is relatively small, and had the works of one artist, but it had a the feeling of spaciousness.  I collaborated with the jeweler Claudia Endler and gallery owner Heidi Chang.  Connecting really is an art, and you need to be versatile and open-minded in order to connect with a wide variety of people.  There is no substitute for being a genuinely interested listener, and also to be interesting when you are speaking.  We all have different communication styles: some are story tellers, while others focus on the reporting of events without much detail.  In my presentation, I emphasized the importance of follow-up in networking, and that it sometimes takes a long time for a fruitful relationship to develop.  You need to develop some type of personal connection with others beyond business topics.   In all, the goal was to bring together people from widely diverse worlds and find a common ground.  By providing a warm and welcoming environment with free appetizers and drinks, we had a high level of success.  Not only did we have our invited guests, but a number of people who were walking around in the area came in and were interested in the topic.

You Never Know – The Case of the poet Marc Swan

In my first year of teaching in 1973, I had a class at Cal State Los Angeles teaching a group of rehabilitation counselors.  I was 25 years old and a year into my doctoral program at UCLA.  My students were all older than me.  One of the students in the class was Marc Swan.  He was an aspiring rehabilitation counselor, and a few years older than me.   After the class was done, we gradually became friends.  Over time, we became very close and shared a combination of humor (and lots of it, the sicker the better), the counseling process, and, well…partying.  It was the 70s after all, and I was in my mid-twenties.  I always enjoyed the company of Marc Swan.  He was a fun guy, and he had a great way of coming up with nicknames for other people.  At any rate, over time we lost touch.  Through marriages, divorces, children, grand children, and just plain life, we lost touch.  About six years ago I re-established contact with Marc.  He was living in Cape Cod and writing poetry.  Very very good poetry.  We got back in touch, I visited him and his wife Dianne in there new home in Portland, Maine, where they now live.  They recently blew my mind by showing up as a total surprise to my book launch party at Ca’Brea on January 21 of this year, brought by another student from the same class, Sheldon Roth.  I always marvel at the fact that I met Marc as his professor when I was 25 and he was 28.   He just sent me this review he found by surprise, which highly praises his poetry.  I am very happy for him and really recommend his writing, especially if lived through the 60s and 70s.  It’s right on and quite incisive.  As I was reading his book, I noticed in the Acknowledgments he mentioned his friend Billy Bob.  I asked him who that was, and he told me that “You’re Billy Bob.”  That’s what he now calls me all the time.  I’m thinking of changing my middle name from Michael to Robert, but then again, maybe not.  I recommend you follow the link or Google Marc Swan.  You’ll be glad you did.  This story adds a lot of meaning to my life, and I hope it brightens up your day.

http://www.handandstar.co.uk/?p=764

Widening the Circle from your Past – Pasadena High School Example

I have noticed that people who are rekindling high school and college relationships tend to focus on people who were in their graduating class.  I graduated from Pasadena High School in 1966, and up until recently stayed in touch primarily with people from the Class of ‘66.  But thanks to Facebook I have begun to widen my circle of connections with classes that graduated before and after me.  When I was in high school, the vast majority of my friends were in my same year.  People below seemed way too young, and people above were virtually unapproachable.  One year seemed like an eternity back then, but now it is not significant at all.  In fact, I am enjoying connecting with people in other classes to add to my perspective.   I have begun to question the wisdom of class reunions that are limited to one graduating year.  Why not expand the circle to include five years?  We may or may not have much in common with people who are older or younger, but you never know how expanding the circle can add to the richness of your life.  You can also learn more about things that were beyond your interest.  By extending your reach to other age groups, you can broaden your experience, both of the present, but also the future.  Pasadena High School circa 1966 is an especially interesting example, because our graduating classes were well over 1,000.  Take a leap and reach out to someone you didn’t know or only knew peripherally.  You might find some real treasures.

Book Signing Networking Mixer on March 25 at Stone Rose Lounge

On Thursday, March 25, Believe Publishing will be sponsoring a special book signing and networking mixer at Stone Rose Lounge in the Sofitel Hotel, at 8555 Beverly Blvd., right across from the Beverly Center.  The concept behind this event is really a combination book signing for my new book Connecting: Beyond the Name Tag and networking mixer to assemble a diverse group of people.  It is especially relevant because the topic of the book is NETWORKING.  Believe Publishing wants to showcase the book while giving people the opportunity to socialize and network.  There will be complimentary appetizers and a cash bar.  The Stone Rose is a very comfortable indoor/outdoor venue with a fire pit and lots of room to mix and mingle.  I will be selling and signing Connecting: Beyond the Name Tag in an adjacent room.  For those who already have the book, the event is a time of celebration for the arrival of the spring season.  It is my hope that people will have a pleasant and memorable experience and make both personal and business connections.  The event is open to everyone, and there is parking at Beverly Center, on the street, or valet at the hotel.  Please share this information and join in the fun.  I hope to see you there.

Social Media or Face-to-Face Networking?

Social media is ubiquitous. We are being implored, seduced, and threatened that we must use it or perish. I was initially a reluctant participant, entering each new platform and site with trepidation and doubt. I considered myself an “old school” networker who met others face-to-face rather than virtually. However, a few years later and I am a strong advocate of using social media to expand your network…and your message. It started with LinkIn, was followed by my blog, Facebook, and then Twitter. I have become quite active in all of those platforms, but never stopped meeting others face-to-face in networking groups, for coffee, and meals. It is really the confluence of social media and face-to-face networking that makes an effective marketing strategy. Social media allows you to take your campaign global without leaving your office (or computer), while the face-to-face interactions give others a sense of you as a real flesh and blood human being. Just as a good football team has to have a varied attack (rushing and passing), an effective networker must also vary the attack. Continue to show up to mixers and gatherings, all the while remaining active and visible in social media of your choice. You don’t have to tweet, but you do have to meet. Remain open minded, because one thing we can be sure of, and that is change. Stay aware and stay connected, not only for the business benefits, but also for the intrinsic joy of being connected in a meaningful way with others.

Connecting: Beyond the Name Tag – Available Fall 2009

My new book CONNECTING: BEYOND THE NAME TAG will be available Fall 2009, published by Believe Publishing.  This book provides numerous effective networking strategies and emphasizes cross networking of face to face and social media.

CAPITALIZING ON COMMONALITIES

When you are talking to others, whether in a formal networking context or not, you will find things in common with them. It could be where you went to school, your ethnicity, playing a particular sport or game, having children the same age, or virtually anything. In order to make connections you need to capitalize on common experiences, interests, and skills. For example, if you find out that someone attended the same university as you did, you could say “Oh, I went there also.” If the other person shows excitement about this shared experience then you can ask pertinent questions to determine if the commonalities run deeper such as having the same professors or major. If you find out that there is strong common ground then you can discuss it more and expand the connection. You do have to be careful because not everyone has an equal degree of connection to or affinity for their past. I went to UCLA and received two degrees from there. In addition, I am deeply involved in Bruin Professionals as a charter member, on the Board of Directors, Speaker Chair for a chapter, and probably attend as many or more meetings at the various chapters than any other member.
So when I meet someone who went to UCLA, I express genuine interest and excitement and often invite them to Bruin Professionals meetings or events. They may or may not share my degree of connection to UCLA. Commonalities serve as an opener, and if we want to connect we need to jump on them and use them as a means to deepen our connections.
There are countless ways we can find a common ground. Sometimes we find them accidentally and other times we might learn something about someone and then bring up the topic. The goal is to find the possible synergy and to “click” with others. George Fraser (2008) utilizes the concept of “clicking” to describe the essence of networking and building productive relationships in his aptly named book Click. .
Here are some examples of possible topics of potential commonality we can connect and click with others:
• Children
• Animals
• Gardening
• Games/Sports
• Travel
• Films
• Music
• Current Events
• Schools
• T.V. Shows
• Regions of Birth
• Neighborhoods
• Age
• Food
• Foreign Language
• Books
• People in Common
• Birth Order
• Fraternal Organizations
• Religion
• Politics
• Hobbies
• Retirement
• How We Spend Time
• Investments
The important thing is not necessarily YOUR interest in any of the above topics, but finding common ground and others’ interest in them. For example, you might be very focused on retirement but the thirty year old to whom you are speaking is probably not. The more versatile you are in the range of discussion topics with which you are comfortable, the more potential people you can reach.