Speaking at Truxtons in Westchester.

Valley Crest
24151 Ventura Blvd.
Calabasas, CA 91302

Pre-Registration Fees (RSVP Now!)

Only $15.00 for IFMA Chapter Members

and $25.00 for Non-IFMA Chapter Members

At the Door Fees (Check or Cash Only)

$25.00 for IFMS Chapter Members

$35.00 for Non-IFMA Chapter Members

7:00am

A small group of successful authors will discuss how they went about writing, publishing and self-publishing their books. Event is free but space is limited.

Greenburg Glusker 1900 Ave of the Stars
21st floor Los Angeles, Ca 90067

RSVP rs@gerberco.com

The two approaches are complementary.  For example, many organizations have chapters.  You might belong to one chapter and attend the monthly (or weekly) meetings on a regular basis.  By only attending your home chapter, you meet a limited number of people.  If the organization allows you to attend other chapters as a guest, you can expand your network and meet many more people.  You might not get to know all of these additional contacts very well, but you can “go deeper” over time.

I recommend a kind of happy medium, wherein you get to know a certain number of people more intimately, but also continue to expand your network beyond  that.  Ultimately you have to make certain choices and make referrals and introductions to people that you know, like and trust.  Loyalty is important, and you shouldn’t let the broad network preclude sharing business contacts with people with proven records.  The decision about whether to primarily establish a deep or wide network will depend on the nature of your business and the amount of time you allot to in-person networking and social media.  What is your strategy and is it working for you?  What is your position on the breadth/depth spectrum?

For example, in ProVisors, a networking organization in which I am a Group Leader, meetings start at 7 a.m. and end at 9 a.m.  The 7 a.m. start never means that the actual meeting starts at 7 a.m., but that open networking begins at that time.  Few people arrive at 7 a.m. sharp, but rather they trickle in until 7:30 or later.  The  actual meeting starts sometime around 7:30-7:45.  Thus, though there are basic parameters for starting time, every group is a bit different.  The norm tends to dictate that 7 a.m. is the beginning of open networking, the meeting starts some time around 7:30 and ends close to 9 a.m.  Norms create expectations, and there is variation.  Some members habitually show up at 7 a.m. sharp, and others rarely make it before 8 a.m.  The same is true of the ending.  Some habitually leave around 8:45, and others stay until well after 9 a.m.

Another example is attire.  Some people always wear dark suits, while others seem to pride themselves in dressing very casually.  In terms of how we refer to others, some are very formal, while others make a frequent use of nicknames or diminutives.  We also vary widely in how quickly we respond (if at all) to communications by others.  The channel of communication itself is subject to wide variation and expectation.  Today it is becoming more common (and the norm) for people to send text messages, while some people continue to favor traditional telephonic communication.  For those of use who remember a time with rotary phones and no voicemail, it is interesting to see how we have evolved from pagers (almost obsolete), to car phones, to cell phones, to various forms of social media.  Where will it be in 5, 10 years?

The main point I am trying to make is that it is dangerous and misleading to assume that one way of doing anything is necessarily the best or shared by everyone.  7 a.m. as a starting time is literal to some and scorned by others.  A handshake is the general norm, but for awhile people were favoring the “fist bump” to people they felt comfortable with.    Some people are huggers, though that is not a general norm.  It is fine to conform and follow the specified rules and norms, but if everyone looks, sounds and smells the same, how will people remember you?  There is obvious value in standing out by being a bit different.  But is that way the right way?  Some people might suggest that my blog fit norms and conventions of social media, but if I did that would more people pay attention to it?

• people are unlikely to remember what everyone says and does
• merely going around the room tends to be boring
• introverts and weak public speakers are at a distinct disadvantage
• many people are not very good at succinctly describing what they do
• a dialogue allows for elaboration and clarification

By having more of a dialogue, people are able to interact with one another and probe into areas that might have been previously unclear.  I ask members questions, encourage them to differentiate themselves from others who do similar things, and indicate what makes them unique.  For example, there are many financial advisors, but several key factors that might differentiate one from another.  Are they fee based, do they sell products, what are their minimums, and how do they work with their clients?  By having a dialogue, people are better able to provide a clear and useful picture of exactly what kind of business they are seeking (inbound referrals) and what kinds of resources their clients are looking for (outbound referrals).

The traditional elevator speech has minimal value when compared to dialogues, give and take, clarifying questions and WINK (who I need to know) spotlights, where a person has more time to convey the true nature of their business and the types of professionals they are trying to meet.  Referrals and introductions are at the heart of business networking.  In order to increase the flow of commerce, networking groups need to minimize elevator speeches and have other activities that allow a freer expression of information.

In an age where “branding” has become so important, nicknames take on a new significance.  How many people know Lady Gaga’s real name, or Madonna, Prince or Bono’s given names?  Sometimes a nickname might convey a level of informality that might diminish a person’s credibility.  For example, would you have more confidence entrusting your finances to someone named J.P. Morgan or Bubba Jones?  My son, also named William, chose to stay Billy as an adult, in part to differentiate himself from me.  Billy Joel never became Bill Joel, and it really doesn’t have the same ring.  And how would the world be different in the President of the United States was referred to as Barry Obama, as he was in college?

Charles has a markedly differently ring than Chucky, and how would be feel about discussing the poetry of Bobby Frost?  We certainly don’t choose our given names (and more than we choose our family) but we can make strategic choices about how we want to be referred to in business settings.  Others might shorten or lengthen our chosen monikers in order to endear themselves to us or to build rapport.  However, we can’t assume that Harold wants to be called Hal or Conan wants to be called Carrot Top.  In show biz, commentators often create a nickname or moniker like JLo or the Divine Miss M (Bette Midler).  Additionally, people change their names for an effect or branding.  Reginald Dwight became Elton John, Bernard Schwartz became Tony Curtis and Roseanne Barr became Roseanne (and then Roseanne Barr again).

When someone I like and know well decides to call me Billy, I am not at all offended.  It puts the relationship on a different level.  If it is done by a stranger, that is a different matter.  When someone calls me on the phone, hesitates, and then asks for William Saleebey and mispronounces my last name, I know they are trying to sell me something or get a donation.  There is no uniform protocol for this issue.  I like to ask people who go by a nickname where it came from, and why they have retained it.  I jokingly refer to my friend Chip as Richard, and call Roberta Bobbie because she indicated that she likes to be called that.   My late sister Barbara came to be known in our family as Bobbi, and that nickname was certainly a term of endearment.  Do you have a nickname or keep such an intimate moniker for close friends and family?  Would Bubba Clinton or Tricky Dick Nixon have been elected if those names had been on the ballot?

I have been in sales for almost thirty years, and during that time have dealt with people of every conceivable political, religious, and social opinion.  Though some might have discerned my leanings, I have been very careful not to reveal too much about my deeply held values.  It is not relevant to the business we are conducting.  Why present something that could negatively taint the business conversation?  There is another side to this issue, and that is the possibility of establishing a higher level of rapport when we do share opinions with others.  So if we are a Democrat and find out the other person is also a Democrat, there could be some value in talking politics is we are fairly certain there is a common ground.  This is analogous to finding out that someone attended the same school as you.  I went to UCLA, so when I find out someone else went to UCLA I might make a comment about our common alma mater.  When I find out someone went to USC, I usually don’t make a comment about it.  I am not interested in debating which school is better, and it could lead to bad feelings.  Besides, because I do business in Los Angeles, I am perfectly happy having positive relationships with both Bruins and Trojans.  I have nothing to gain by getting into an argument with my Trojan friends.

It is quite possible to get to know people well without delving into political discussions and debates.  There is a time and place for such discussions.  Some people will say they don’t care what your opinions are, but there could be a negative effect from knowing too much about another’s opinions.  You have the right to share or not share your opinions if asked.  What is your position and opinion on this topic?  There is of course no obligation to share your opinion, but you can do so if you choose.

Sometimes we get lulled into the belief that certain things will always remain constant.  However, the times are ALWAYS a changin’.  Just when you get used to something, it changes.  I remember getting into sales in the early 80s, and my sales manager told me I needed to wear my pager on my hip in case the office needed to get in touch with me.  If I got “beeped” I was supposed to go to a pay phone and call the office.  Almost before I knew it, the pager became obsolete and was replaced by the mobile phone.  I began sending e-mails in the early 90s.  Just when I thought e-mails would be the preferred method of sending messages, texting became the method du jour.

In the 70s when Billy was born, we thought we were clever to compile the songs we liked on a reel-to-reel recorder.  8 tracks were replaced by a revolutionary invention called cassette tapes, which were supplanted by CDs.  Then along came ITunes and Pandora, and I can’t keep up with it all.  Just implant a chip in my brain and let me think of a song I want, and let it play.

I informed Billy about the first credit card I received in the early 70s, a Bankamericard (precursor of VISA) with a whopping credit limit of $100.  There were no debit cards or ATMs or electronic banking.  We wrote checks at the market and paid cash at the restaurant.  I took pictures with my Brownie camera and didn’t know if the picture was any good until I retrieved the pictures from the local drug store.

After our conversation, Billy was kind of in a daze, contemplating potential “play dates” for his new child, the $50,000 a year college tuition, and the operation to implant chips into their brains so they could keep up with the other kids.  I tried to explain what a slide rule was, and how we used to add things up on a piece of paper.  Of course, if I was writing this back in 1977, it would have been on my manual typewriter and I would have been correcting my mistakes on the onionskin paper with correction paper.  Then I would have driven my 1972 Chevy Corvair to McDonald’s to buy a 24 cent hamburger and 18 cent Coke.  If I asked for Diet Coke they would have looked at me funny and told me to get back into my time machine.

Because of my profession as a Manager of Corporate Relocations, I have often been judged as unworthy of high level networking.  However, do those who judge really know who I know and how I might be able to provide value to them as a networking partner?  Are they merely judging a book by its cover?  When I first applied to membership in a prestigious networking organization, I was rejected primarily on the basis of my profession.  I didn’t take the rejection personally, because I knew the reasons.  I was ultimately accepted, and ended up writing a book on networking and became an expert in the field of networking and social media.  In addition, I am now leading my own group.

I understand why people make judgments about others based on their perceived expertise.  However, there are notable exceptions that need to be considered.  The quality and experience of the person should be taken into account.  Stereotyping based solely on titles, professions or education can lead to faulty conclusions.  Community organizers can become world leaders if they are given a chance.  So too can lowly vendors end up giving you the referral of a lifetime.  I ask a simple question, “If the vendor who you rejected from your group contacted you with an outstanding referral, would you accept it?”  You never know where your next referral is coming from.